Many years ago, when I was in the midst of a lawsuit, a lawyer once told me that even those who win in a lawsuit don’t come away feeling great. I didn’t want to believe that. What? No feelings of glorious vindication at the end when the lawsuit is over? Sure enough, that was what happened to me. And it sounds like this is what Anthony Goldstein thought too.
Anthony spent about 9 years in a family lawsuit. He said that after it was over, instead of feeling relief, (at t=8:11 in video), he felt that the lawsuit was a “waste of time.” Litigation was time consuming and expensive. When asked what he would do differently, he said that family litigants should consider mediation, as well as educate themselves about family law.
I was especially touched when I asked Anthony whether separating couples could come together in mediation, despite the hurt feelings that are operating in the background. Anthony said that when his marriage broke down, he came across a card that his ex-partner had given him a few months ago. Despite the anger caused by the breakup, the card reminded him of the affection that they once had for each other (t=13:19). He believes that it’s possible for couples to set aside the anger to work together, one last time, for a mutually acceptable separation agreement.
I want to give special thanks to Anthony for being so brave in sharing this very personal experience.